My Date Jesus Testimony

It was nearly midnight as I stood in my glowing wedding gown, gazing in the mirror. In a matter of minutes, at the stroke of midnight, my wedding ceremony would commence. I had spent hours preparing for this moment, when God suddenly spoke to my heart. “Tammy, I have spent years getting you ready for this moment. It is now time for Me to give you to your earthly bridegroom to share together the rest of our journey. It has been just you and Me for over ten years; I’ve enjoyed every special moment together. Remember and never forget, I AM the true lover of your soul, I AM your heavenly Bridegroom. Soon I will be coming back for you both for the real wedding… remember and never forget.”

What Lead To My Divine Romance

I believe a testimony is a powerful and beautiful way to open any book. To look into a heart that God has taken over, and hear how this God invasion created a miracle of a transformed life. With this new life come hope, joy, peace and most of all love, which is beyond anything we could ever imagine or experience.

I invite you into my journey, my testimony and my Divine romance, through written words and oil paintings, which express the varying seasons God had me travel. I look forward to sharing my experiences of time spent with the lover of my soul, what He showed me along the way, what love really looks like, and how my love for Him makes it easy to live for Him. I pray your soul will be touched as you experience His amazing love, and may you love Him like no other.

Although I was blessed to have had a Godly mother who always pointed me to Jesus, I had a heart of rebellion. At fourteen, I accepted Jesus as my personal savior and spent a year as a teenage “Jesus freak”. I carried my bible everywhere, attended youth camps, and was in church every Sunday.

My passion for Jesus came to a screeching halt my junior year of high school. I came home from school one day to find my mother in a panic with her bags packed as well as mine, along with my sister and brother’s. That evening we left everything and everyone without any notice. I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye to my lifelong best friend much less anyone else. My mother was unable to drive, so at a mere sixteen years old, I drove my family from California to Colorado. My father, who lived out of the country my whole childhood, filed for divorce. They were married twenty-eight years and it was ending. He had another and my mother suffered a broken heart.

For the next two years I felt like I had disappeared; missing in action. My mother’s pain was so great; this was all I could see. I was in survival mode. We attended church regularly during this dark season in our lives. Due to strange and unexpected behavior at the church, I became disappointed in the Christian thing in general. My eyes were on the people, and not on God. My focus should have been on Jesus. I was disappointed to the point I wanted nothing to do with church, and as a result I stopped praying and seeking the Lord.

Thus started my lifeless journey to find love. At seventeen I met a handsome cadet in the Air Force at a muscular dystrophy fashion show. I was one of the models and he was an escort. Our first date was on my eighteenth birthday and he became my best friend.

We were married just 2 weeks after my nineteenth birthday. I was ready to be free and grownup! I sadly learned though we were not soul mates, much less lovers, merely friends. We had no display of affection the way married couples should; sadly no love was found in our relationship. The marriage ended peacefully seven years later. Within a few weeks I walked right back into another relationship. I chose to ignore a number of red flags and blaring warning signs, and married again a little over a year after meeting him.

Looking back, I believe even then God’s Holy Spirit was warning me; but to my own sorrow, I refused to listen. On the outside this man appeared everything good and right but hidden within was another story. This was the saddest, most difficult time in my life. I realized I was looking desperately for love and it pained me that I couldn’t find it. I needed help, and desperately began searching for a church.

He agreed to Christian counseling after running from one psychologist to the next to determine his problem. I was running out of hope to save this man from himself. I came to realize I couldn’t fix him and was worn out trying both physically as well as emotionally. My last resort was maybe God could fix him! I was lead to a church not too far from where we lived, and we were soon enrolled in marriage counseling. The church was called Calvary Chapel of the High Dessert. I thought this is it! I’m finally going to have a break through! This man I’m married to will come to know Christ and God would fix him, and I’ll be happy! We went to church for a year or so along with counseling. We would slide into church when worship was nearly over, and rarely bring our bibles. He never gave God his heart. And God was not the Lord of my life, nor was I in love with Him.

Things never changed but only continue to worsen. I finally came to an understanding that I could do nothing to earn the love I so desired from this man I was married to, and I gave up. I gave up the fight for love. After 5 years of marriage the relationship ended, but the pain lasted for years to come. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life, as I loved this man who caused such grief and suffering.

While my marriage was ending in divorce, I went through the loss of a loved one very close to my heart, my precious brother Gary. A divorce and death at the same time put me in a place of despair and a season of darkness. The year that followed was a complete blur, one I am unable to remember.

Gary lived with my mother all his life. He was born brain damaged due to an error made by the doctor who delivered him at birth. He was a normal baby boy who was delivered with an umbilical cord wrapped around his throat cutting off oxygen to his brain. The lack of oxygen affected and damaged one side of his brain, which they in turn called my blonde haired, green eyed, gorgeous brother, brain damaged. His learning ability never exceeded the age of a seven year old. He couldn’t count past ten, nor recite his ABC’s, but amazingly was able to remember scripture! He always spoke scripture at the most unusually needed moments in our lives as a family or personally. He floored me from time to time with his sayings which came at the perfect time, and always ministered to my needing heart. It was profound! The things he would say came from the throne of God. God used Gary in my life.

I remember Gary stating, “Tammy, just because you’re sitting in the garage, this doesn’t make you are car, and just because you’re sitting in a church, this doesn’t make you a Christian.” This comment cut me right to the core, as this described my own heart at the time. He would also exclaim, “Why would you walk around in a dark room, bumping into things hurting yourself? Go turn on the light so you can see! Jesus is the light Tammy; He needs to be turned on in your life!”

I have often wondered if he was human, or perhaps an angel to help us through life’s journey. He brought abundant laughter and joy into our lives with the silly things he would do and say. I remember him gazing into my best friend’s blue eyes, only to tell her how beautiful her purple eyes were (I hear he said the same thing to my sisters best friend as well); which made her run home frazzled to her mom. What I loved most about him was his kind nature. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body, he couldn’t be mean even if he wanted to, he didn’t know how. He was white as snow. Pure.

One afternoon while my mother pulled into the driveway of her home, Gary ran out as he normally did to open the garage door for her. She noticed his shirt was soiled, resembling blood. As she hurried into the house, there were spots of vomit on the floor, which also looked like blood.

She had just taken Gary to the doctor the week prior because he was complaining of a tummy ache, which was not like Gary to complain, he always suffered quietly. We never knew when he was experiencing pain. The doctor sent them home, explaining to my mom it was just some kind of virus. My mother’s intuition told her otherwise. She took him to the emergency room, where we all discovered my brother had cancer. My sister’s husband, who’s a doctor, had Gary placed in his care along with a cancer specialist. They found the cancer was full blown, and we had very little time left with our precious Gary. We ate thanksgiving dinner together in the hospital café that year.

My mother brought him home to care for him, and most importantly love on him. Everyone in the family took turns helping out. Christmas was Gary’s favorite time of year. He loved the tree and most importantly the presents under the tree. He didn’t really care what was inside the gift boxes. He just loved knowing he had a box. He would hold it; stare at it, thinking it was the grandest thing ever. He wanted a train to go around the tree, and much to his delight, got one. He would sit there for hours watching the train go around and around. So simple, so innocent, this was Gary.

January came and Gary’s lungs were quickly filling with fluid. Our brother in-love, Doug, came to the house so Gary wouldn’t have to travel, and personally drained his lungs to help him be more comfortable. This particular day, we learned we only had two weeks left with our dear Gary. Shock.

With a very raw, broken heart I stood in Gary’s room and watched him take his last breath. It was January twenty third, and it was raining. Gary’s bed was under the window, which splashed with raindrops. His beautiful face was peaceful, for he truly knew his Savior in a very personal way. As I gazed upon his face, I could clearly see Gary saw something beautiful. I glanced up through his window and saw the most brilliantly, colorful, glorious rainbow I had ever laid my eyes on. I turned to look down on Gary’s face, and it was glowing, and he was beautiful. Then, there it was… his last breath and he was gone.

The year following Gary’s death, was one of utter despair and darkness. I had no desire to live. Life felt dead-numb. I had no real purpose. No set direction and no desire for anything of real value. I was alone and lifeless. I wanted to be loved, be happy, and have someone be there for me, and care about me. I want! I want! I want! Me, me, me! This thinking only led me into greater despair.

Seeking to numb the pain and anguish, I sought love in all the wrong places. My heart was hardened to anyone coming near my heart again, so instead, I chose to use a guy for his company. It was rather easy, with little effort on my part. This new, uncomplicated relationship lasted for four years.

Then, everything changed. He spoke of marriage, and I found myself at a crossroad. I came home one day, only to find he had moved some of his belongings into the living room. I felt sick. Oh no! How was I to handle this? I knew something was seriously off with this prolonged relationship I found myself in, but selfishly wanted his easy handsome company. I then remembered the church I went to for counseling five years ago. I thought, well, God didn’t step in and save the guy or relationship back then but maybe He will with this one. I know! Pre-marriage counseling, that’s it! That’s what we should do! I made the appointment, and actually prayed at this point. I told God I would listen to whatever counseling I received. A miracle in and of its self!!!

We walked into the pastor’s office ready for pre-marriage counseling; we looked like some couple out of a soap opera. Perfectly groomed; everything “looking” good. We were styl’n. You know…”hot.” Or so we thought…gag! We had a sparkle in our smile, and clothes so tight you could see our every muscle we worked so hard to get. We sat down ready and prepared for our first session of pre-marital counseling. The pastor took one look at us and saw through it all. I never felt judged by this pastor, as he saw the true state of our hearts.

He said, “Before you two go down the road of pre-marriage counseling, I believe you both need to let the smoke clear the room, if you know what I mean, and see if you two are friends. Find out if you really know one another. Let’s give it a month of no physical contact, just friends and let’s meet up again at that time.”

First of all, I was horrified it was obvious, and to a pastor of all people! I truly wanted to “appear” like a good girl after all. Who was I fooling? I was in an unmarried relationship that lasted four years, but acted and lived as though I was married. As I stepped out of the office, I was determined to follow the pastor’s counsel. I soon realized after a month had passed with the “smoke clearing the room”, this man was not my friend, soul mate or anything remotely close to a possible husband. I ended the relationship accepting the responsibility for causing pain in his life as well as my own.

Upon ending the relationship, a terrible feeling stirred within me… I’m alone. I dreaded the feeling of not having someone by my side. It was a place in my mind I never wanted to experience; being alone, without a guy, without a relationship. An unhealthy relationship was better than not being in one at all! Or so I thought.

For a short few months I went clubbing and partying with my new friends in Los Angeles and the beach cities. I never drank much at any point in my life. My partying ended one night when my drink was drugged at an underground “cool” club. I was fortunate a friend was with me who did not have the drink offered her. She was able to move me out of harms way, and out of the club. I passed out once in the car, and was taken to the emergency room. I was told I had been given a lethal amount of the date rape drug, and was very fortunate to have escaped the person who planted it in my drink. I haven’t entered a club since.

Those lost, desperate months of hanging out with party friends and meeting new guys in hopes to fill the void so deep within me came to an ever needed end. I observed the young ladies I had been spending time with, and knew I was not one of them, or at least I didn’t want to be. Chasing after the wind was so foolish; empty words, empty places, and empty faces. They looked lost, sad, and hopeless. Even though they had others around them, they were lonely. Then it struck me hard…so am I. How did I come so low? I’m empty! I am not finding “it” anywhere I turn. I am lonely, why can’t I be alone? Why do I feel like I have to have a “guy” in order to feel valuable? Why do I always end up with the wrong guy when I am in a relationship? I have so many questions I need answers to! Who knows the answers? Who do I ask? All the women in my life were making the same or similar mistakes, so I couldn’t talk to them. I knew I couldn’t continue to live as I was. How do I stop? How on earth do I change my life from going down this downward spiral? God who can I talk to? Are You there? God? Who?

Date Jesus

I went back to the pastor! I sat in front of him and asked, “What am I doing wrong with my life? I feel like I have just wasted my entire life, for nothing, no one. What am I doing wrong with relationships, with guys? I just want to be loved, I need to be loved and I’m just not finding him!”

He simply said, “Tammy you are loved, just DATE JESUS for awhile.”

Just, DATE JESUS!?%&#!!! Did he just say, “DATE JESUS!?! I then asked, “Uh, how… do you… date Jesus?” He asked, “Well… what do you do with guys on a date?”

I mumbled, “Uh… movies, walks, hikes, romantic dinners in front of the fireplace, that kind of thing.”
He explained, “Do that with Jesus”, “spend time with Him. Get to know Him. He knows you and loves you. He just wants to have a relationship with you.”

The Bible, he explained is a love story written so we would know and love Jesus. He asked me to read a chapter a day, starting in Matthew, the first book in the New Testament. I had been told my entire life to read the Bible and pray, but this day there was something different in hearing the words read aloud. It was as though they took on life. I can’t explain it any other way. LIFE.

I left the office filled with hope, but was still unsure about the whole “date Jesus” thing. I went for what must have been an hour or more drive, processing everything I had just heard. Everything all of a sudden made sense. I knew I was ruining my life and God was getting my attention. He had a better plan all along and I was getting in the way of it. It’s time. It’s time to give Him back my life. I prayed He would repair what I had destroyed, and show me what to do next. Desiring to remember all God was revealing to me, I went to a bookstore and purchased a journal.

Once home, with a fire in the fireplace, I walked in the bathroom and gazed in the mirror. As I looked in the mirror I saw myself for the first time. I saw how ugly I was. Sin. Sin had made me ugly. It was as though a veil had been lifted up off my face and eyes. I could see my sin, how ugly I was, and how it was all hidden from me till that moment. The worst sin of all was my pride in justifying all my actions. Blaming seemed so much easier than being responsible for my own choices. I was ugly from sin. But God in His love for me provided a way to Him. He gave me someone He loved, to pay the price and cover me. He showed me Jesus, and how He desires to rescue me from this world of sin. God offered Jesus to me as a way out of what I had done to myself. How could I say no? I fell to the floor on my knees. I felt someone in the room… it was Him. It was Jesus. His presence was evident by the peace, the shear peace. I lifted my hands to Heaven. My eyes were full of tears for Him.

“Please Father, forgive me! I know I am a sinner. Please forgive me! Come into my heart and take over my life. I give it to you. Fill me with You, Your Spirit. Help me to live for You. Help me to know who You are. I want to know You. I want to love You.”

I encountered a loving, forgiving God. This was real. He is real. I experienced love through His forgiveness.

After this most incredible encounter with Jesus, I sat in front of the fireplace, opened my journal, and began to write…
I started reaching out toward a new love, a new life. I reflected on things which held me in my yesterdays; broken ties which kept me bound, the sadness which followed an unforgiving heart, made it difficult for me to see my way. The road had always felt long before me and memories begged me to stay. I realized the word lonely was born from pride. I felt as if no one in the world could understand me, until Jesus came along and told me this…
“All will be forgotten, all sin and ugly things, every tear you’ve cried I’ve seen and heard. Now that you’re eyes have been awakened to My presence; you need to know I’ve been there all along standing by your side, watching with a broken heart as you stumbled along in life, one painful decision after another but now its time… let go of yesterday.”

I had just experienced Jesus coming to my rescue and saving my soul. My soul! He did that for me! I experienced Him in a real, supernatural way. He was so gentle and kind. No huge sparks or fireworks, just peace. Grace and peace, the mercy of this is so unbelievable, and not of this world. To be forgiven and set free. To be loved so much by God, that He sent His own Son to pay the price for my sin through His life, so I may have life forever! This is love; real love, someone loving me unconditionally to the point of dying for me all the while knowing I will never be perfect, but covering me with Himself. Beyond beautiful. This is what I have always desired.

1998

I opened my journal and wrote a promise from deep within my heart. I had asked Jesus into my heart! I looked in the mirror and the veil of truth was lifted from my face, and I saw a person full of ugly sin before my eyes.

“I am ugly. I see my sin…oh my God; please forgive me for all my ugly sin. I felt You in the room surrounding me in Your presence, washing me in Your grace, cleansing me in Your mercy and Your love brought me to my knees. I want You! I need You! I can’t live any more without You Jesus. Come in and take over this damaged heart of mine. It’s Yours. Show me how to live for You. Teach me how to love You the way You deserve. Show me what love is. I know I’ve never experienced real love; I want to know. LOVE…”

Positioned in front of the glowing flames within the fireplace, I laid down on the warm floor once again. It was time for me to yield my will to God, and follow the pastor’s counsel; and submit to His perfect, Holy will for my life. So I declared, “Here I am Lord.” I was going to “date Jesus”!

May 12, 1998

Journal Entry:

“I am committing to date Jesus for a year, no, scratch that, 9 months…no…six months. Lord, I am committing to dating Jesus for six months. Only Jesus for six months!” Thus my last day of my commitment to God would be November 12th.

The journey was not only to heal the pain from my past, but more importantly to fall deeply in love with Jesus. Pastor Dennis advised for me to read a chapter a day from the Bible, starting with the first book in the New Testament; Matthew. Matthew 1:1. I made a commitment on May 12, 1998, to read a chapter a day, and date only Jesus for the next six months.

I cried out to God during the months following this commitment. “I need Your help Father! Because I still desire to pray for my future husband. I also seem to be meeting Christian guys that act interested more then ever. They’re coming out of the woodwork; why is this? I think I am being tempted not to make this commitment, but a promise is a promise, and its only six months after all. But I still need Your help Lord!”

So many wonderful things happened between Jesus and me in the following six months. There was something so romantic about this new love in my life, as He was after ALL of my heart. Oh, how I had longed my entire life to be desired in this way, and it was finally happening! Not of course, the way I had planned, but as the romance continued, I realized nothing could ever compare to this love relationship. I never imagined in a million years Jesus could woo me or romance me. But He did, and He does. He knew…He knew exactly what my heart desired. He wooed me and I fell hard.

WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE

Love, love, love all you need is Love…Jesus is love! Jesus is God’s expression of ultimate love for you! All you need is Jesus! He is the way! He is the truth! And He is life! Period!

He took on my sin as if it was His own and died in the place of me. Why? So I may live, so you may live and not die. Now this is what I call love, someone willing to die for me. Sometimes this seems unbelievable-to good to be true. Some people think there must be more to being saved than simply believing Jesus died for our sin, rose again, and wants to live within us. But this is the truth, the message of the gospel, and why it’s such good news (Romans 10:9,10). His love for you and for me took Him to the cross.

If you are reading this I assume you have already trusted Jesus Christ as your Savior and have acknowledged Him as the Lord of your life. I do have to throw this out there though; if you have not made this important decision, not much of this will have meaning for you. The reason is spiritual matters can be understood by only those who have the Spirit of Christ dwelling in them. “The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.” (1 Corinthians 2:14)

If you have not yet made the commitment to receive Jesus, I would urge you to wait no longer. This is the most important decision in your life, so please consider what God’s Word says, then make the decision for your soul. To place your faith in Jesus and receive His gift of eternal life, you must understand what He says, then make the decision for yourself.

He says in His Word-

Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” You see all have sinned. You need to recognize you are a sinner who needs a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.

Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Eternal life is a free gift of God.

Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Because of His love for you, Jesus paid the death penalty for your sins.

John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” God loves you and wants you to have everlasting life-which can only come through His Son.

Romans 10:9-10 says, “That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” Confess Jesus as Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead.

Romans 10:13 says, “For whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.” Ask God to save you, and He will.

Simple steps:

Recognize you are a sinner who needs a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.
Confess; (you agree with God you are a sinner).
Repent of your sins; (turn from sin to God).
Ask Jesus to save you by His grace.
Turn over the rule of your life to Jesus, letting Him be your Lord and Savior.

A prayer:

Dear God,
I know I am a sinner. I acknowledge my sin to You.
I ask that You would forgive me.
I turn from it right now, and turn to You by faith.
I believe Jesus died, rose again, and is alive right now.
I pray You would come into my heart and fill me with Your Holy Spirit.
I pray You would help me walk in Your ways.
Be my Savior and be my Lord.
In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

If you need help, call your pastor or a Christian friend for help. If you have just made this important decision, call your church and share your decision, so they can celebrate with you and help you grow in your relationship with Jesus. If you do not have a church, I encourage you to find a good Bible teaching church to grow in your new relationship with Jesus, and be encouraged and supported by other believers. Also, be in prayer and read the Bible every day to whatever extent possible. This will be vital for you to live a victorious Christian life! And then go tell someone the good news of what God has done in your life!

The Holy Spirit will be your personal Teacher. “The counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the father will send in my name, will teach you all things.” John 14:26

The Scriptures are your source of authority. The Bible is God’s Word to you. The Holy Spirit honors and uses God’s Word in speaking to you. The Scriptures are your source of authority for your faith and practice. As you trust His word, God will lead you into an intimate relationship with the God of the universe, “who is able to do immeasurably more then all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20)

What is so amazing and wonderful to me, is He doesn’t stop there! This love that took Him to the cross is the same love that desires a relationship with me. Jesus loves us so much; He wants to make sure we make it all the way to our true home, which is Heaven. Not only did Jesus secure my salvation by dying for me, He maintains it as my intercessor. Hebrews 7:25, “therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.”

After Jesus purged our sins, Jesus went to the right hand of the throne of God and sat down. Romans 8, He is at the right hand of God our Father making intercession for us. The wounds in His hands and feet, the scars on His brow, the hole in His side is all the proof we need. The work is done. In Jesus’ own words, “it is finished.” He did it all when He died on the cross. His scars alone are sufficient for the Father in regard to us. He succeeded in securing our salvation and now He as our intercessor, also succeeds as He helps us work out our sanctification.

His promise to us is found in Philippians 1:6, where it is written:

“He who began a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

Jesus is making a promise He will see us all the way through, until He receives us in glory. And this, my dear friend, is His job. All we do is surrender our lives so He can do His job. Wow, what a magnificent Savior. That is love. He came to save us, save us from death. This is true love. This is what love looks like.

DIVINE ROMANCE-YOU ARE MY PEARL

God had used Pastor Dennis Davenport to counsel me, and his counsel was to “date Jesus” for a while. To get to know Jesus, the One who loves me like no other can. This Jesus, who loved me so much, it took Him to the cross. He knows me and He knows just how to love me. Only He can meet my deepest need…to feel completely loved. He was about to woo me. I had no idea Jesus would come into my life, to show me in such a personal way that He was after my heart. He knew in order for me to “get it,” He would need to reveal to me it was Him who was after me. Jesus wooed my heart to Him. And I fell in love…with Him.

The pastor counseled me to read a chapter a day in the Bible, starting with the first book in the New Testament; Matthew. The first day I read Matthew 1, second day-Matthew 2, etc. When I read Matthew 12, it was a day to be remembered and written in my journal.

When I read Matthew 12, I prayed and went for a jog. Later I went to the grocery store in need of something yummy. But it turned into something else, something loving-I think I heard Jesus’ voice for the first time in my life.

I was in the produce section squeezing some fruit, when I noticed him. He was an older gentleman, maybe late fifties, light brown hair and on the thin side. He caught my eye because of all the red roses in his cart. There must have been three dozen. I was intrigued by how he was intensely searching for the perfect greeting card to go with the roses. He went from one to the other, with a fervent desire for the perfect card. All of a sudden he looked up, and found me staring at him. “Oh no”, I thought…I immediately looked down at the fruit I was squeezing, pretending not to notice. He went back to looking for the perfect card. When I thought it was safe to look again, I lifted my head from the fruit to stare at this man with his red roses. He must have felt my eyes burning in the back of his head, as he suddenly stopped, looked my direction again, only to find me staring at him! “I’m busted again!” I thought. I quickly went back to squeezing my melons in hopes not to look like a complete fool. Then he went back to looking intently at the cards hoping to find the perfect one once again. Yes…I started to stare again… only for him to turn quickly this time and full on bust me looking at him straight in the eye. I had no choice but to laugh at myself…he smiled back.

I decided it was best for me to leave the area and went on my way to do my own shopping. He must have thought I was an absolute freak! Oh well…it was cool watching a man in love with three-dozen roses and the perfect card. When I finished shopping, and walked with my grocery cart to my car, the older gentleman walked up to me with three of the roses, and offered them to me.

He said, “Here… these are for you. I just wanted to let you know that it is my thirtieth wedding anniversary and the roses and card are for my beautiful wife.” I said, “I knew it was for someone special. Are you sure you want to give these to me?”

“Yes, I do.” “Thank you.” He turned and walked back to his car as I got into my car. I sat watching him rearrange the roses just perfectly for her. I thought, “If only she could see him doing this for her…that’s the gift, not the roses themselves or the card, but the time he’s putting into this just for her.”

As I drove past him through the parking lot I heard a voice. This was the first time I had ever heard His voice. It was a still small voice just as the Bible speaks of. It felt like a whisper behind the back of my neck.

“Tammy…the roses…they are from Me.” “Jesus…is that You?” I turned to look only to find no one there, but I was sure I heard Him say the roses were from Him. My heart was touched deeply because I knew it was indeed Jesus speaking to my heart. I touched the roses as if they were the most precious gift I had ever received. Can this be? Jesus giving me roses, can He do that? He is God after all…I guess He can do this. He touched me…He touched my heart that night.
As I woke up the next day, I decided to go on a jog first thing in the morning, and read Matthew 13 when I returned home. I was jogging on my normal daily route, on a busy road, when I heard the voice again.

This time I heard, “look down.” I instantly looked down and saw something glowing on the road. I stopped to pick it up. It was a beautiful bracelet. A pearl bracelet, with each pearl set in a gold heart!

While I held the bracelet I heard His voice say, “It’s for you.” “For me!” Now He is giving me jewelry? Can this be? Am I imagining all this? Why would He be doing this for me? This does not make any sense, I’ve never heard of this before. I didn’t ponder it any further until I got home.

I picked up my bible and opened to Matthew 13:45-46, and read, “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.”

I held the pearl bracelet in my hand while I read the scripture. Then He spoke again, “Tammy, you are my pearl.” “I’m Your pearl?” “Me?” “I’m Your pearl?”

My heart was so pierced by what He was speaking to me. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening to me; of all people! I was being pursued- by the living God, and He wanted me to know without a doubt it was indeed Him. He timed it all so perfectly. Only He would have known the day and the hour I would be holding a beautiful pearl bracelet the very day I was to read Matthew 13. That is God. He wanted my attention and He got it.

I desired to know this Jesus who would go out of His way to show me personally that He loved me. I was just a young lady in serious need of knowing what real love really was. He was after my heart, and knew what it would take for me to believe. It worked. I wanted to know this man Jesus. I wanted to know why He would do this for me. He hooked me in.

Every day since, I eagerly look forward to all He shares with me, learning He does indeed speak through His Word. I open my Bible knowing He wants to reveal Himself to me. He wooed me, He loves me, and I want to spend the rest of my life knowing Him and loving Him. He loved me first, and I couldn’t help but fall in love with Him back.

It’s funny when I think of pearls. A pearl begins as nothing more than an irritating grain of sand stuck in a shell of an oyster. The oyster surrounds the grain with a crystalline covering, which over years hardens and becomes precious and valuable. Those who study such things say the most beautiful pearls take seven years to form. During the seven-year period, the irritating piece of sand is hidden away-clothed and covered with beauty. That’s us-irritating pieces of sand. Yet, the Lord clothes us in His righteousness. It is Jesus who is beautiful. His righteous beauty covers me.

2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For He hath made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.” IN HIM.

You are a pearl! We are all pearls! Of great price to Him-you have been clothed with the righteousness of Jesus Christ. And His righteousness is a thing of matchless pure beauty and beyond unspeakable value in the eyes of God. All because of what Jesus did for us.

Like that grain of sand, do you ever think you’re irritating? In His eyes you are actually a masterpiece of His glory. You are a pearl of His grace. Bright like the stars in a dark sky. Even the angels look at you as a miracle of God and praise Him! Then they turn, look at Jesus and say, “glory, glory, glory be to the Lamb.” Hallelujah to the Lamb, who took that little speck of sand, you and me and made it a pearl of great price! God loves you. Jesus demonstrated His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Amazing, truly amazing.

I used to ask questions like, “Why would Jesus die for me. What can I do to deserve Him dying for me?” A powerful question is: When did Jesus die for us? Not when we were going to church, or reading His Word, or in the midst of praying. He looked at us when we were nothing more then an irritation and said, “I love you and I’ll give all I have to redeem you, my treasure.”

And He doesn’t just stop there…it’s a journey remember?

LIVING WATER

This living water is His Spirit. You are filled with His Spirit when you receive Jesus. As we ask, the Spirit comes upon us. Worship in “Spirit and truth” (John 4:23), the Word says.

Pastor Jon Courson explains it this way: When you are saved; you step in the (living) water. You’re up to your ankles, standing on the promises of Jesus. As you walk toward heaven, you go a little deeper in your walk and you become aware of impotence in your life. You call on the Lord, and you’re up to your knees in prayer. You walk a little further…you want to see others saved. You start witnessing the love of Jesus and ministering to anyone who will listen and you’re up to your waist-this is a picture of a productive life of the Spirit (secret to contentment as a single).

Then, finally, you come to a place where you cry out, “I just want to be over my head in You Lord, immersed in Your Spirit. I no longer want to control my life or my destiny. I now let go- it’s Yours. My life is Yours. Take me Lord. Sweep me off my feet. Baptize me in your power. Do with me as You wish.”

The cool thing is, it’s yours for the asking. All we need to do is ask. Jesus said, “If you, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him?” (Luke 11:13) Declare it in faith, and watch the water, it will bubble to the surface of your life like a river running below under your feet, following you wherever you go. Eph. 5:18-19 says, “Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to yourselves in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.”

I learned God speaks to us through His word. Now I wanted to know who He was. To know Him is to truly love Him. I knew this could never be a one sided relationship. It’s likened to calling a friend and speaking to them, but no one’s on the other end responding.

I longed to hear Him, so I would pray first for God to fill me with His Spirit, and give me spiritual understanding as I read about Him. I would pray expectantly. I found myself not wanting to fill my mind with other things; only Him. The more time I spent with Him, the more I changed. People, who knew me before I surrendered my life to Christ, knew something wonderful had happened to me. I was not the same. Never to return to the hopeless, empty life again, I had found an abundant life. Wow…and I was being transformed Word-by-Word as the Holy Spirit lead me and taught me.

I came to Jesus, the Rock, who already provided a flow underneath the surface. It’s there, so may your heart sing out expectantly, may it be full. Receive it by faith today. And may the Lord cause you to be over your head in Him. May the Holy Spirit carry you along the river as you experience His love, refreshment, joy and power.

God Confirms With His Word

A sweet way, in which the Lord loves to teach and grow me spiritually, is to repeat His Word. For example, a scripture may speak to me in my daily devotions, and then at church the pastor shares the same scripture as in my devotion. I might also hear it in a song on the radio, or through a friend stating, “I was praying for you, and the Lord put this scripture on my heart for you”. God has His way in speaking to us and I believe it is continual. I believe that He wants to speak to me every time I open the Bible. I actually look forward to what He is going to say next. I have learned that this is His will and His way of communicating with us, His children.

10 Years of Training

To be trained by the Lord, or really transformed.

Romans 12:1-2, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Yes, I needed to be trained, transformed and learn God’s way through His Word. Along with studying the Bible, prayer and fellowship with other believers came 10 plus years of waiting. Why waiting? Waiting is one of God’s biggest tools of training. It was like 10 years of Christian boot camp with lipstick.

During this season I learned to lean on and into Jesus as the only one I could count on. He pulled everyone out of my life that would interfere with His plan in training me up to be His soldier dependent on Him, the Mighty One. In 2 Timothy 2:3-4 Paul writes about being a good soldier of Jesus Christ. Verse 4 says, “No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.”

When I read God’s Word, “waiting” was used in the majority of His servant’s lives, in order to prepare them for what God had planned to do with them and for them. Here are some examples: Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years as he was being prepared to take on Pharaoh and lead and save God’s people out of slavery. David ran from Saul thirteen years waiting for God’s anointing to be King of Israel, hiding in caves as King Saul sought to kill him. After Paul was blinded for several days he went into complete solitude, silence, and obscurity in the barren wilderness of Arabia for three years as he was being prepared to go out into all the nations to share that Jesus is the Messiah.

I am relieved my waiting wasn’t as severe as these great saints, but the truth is I felt like it was. Waiting for God’s choice in a mate ten plus years can be brutal to the wanting heart. But you know, as hard as it was, and as much as I hated it, knowing what I know now… I’d do it all over again. When I started waiting for God’s choice for me, He didn’t let me in on the fact it would be close to an eleven-year wait. I think I would have failed had I known, especially in the first year. As it seemed Mr. Right came around a few times during the first year, but God knew they were all Mr. Wrong. I gave them the red flag treatment, did an about face and ran.

I was committed to following after God’s will for my life. He knew I needed those eleven years to teach me to die to myself, my flesh, my wants, my desires, my dreams, my, my, my. To His, His, His. Apparently I was so stubborn, (I say apparently because we tend to be the last to know our faults), the Lord saw no other way but to get me ALONE, in order for me to get to know Him, love Him and let go and give everything to Him. Once my Abba Father had broken me of self, He would then deliver me. In 2 Corinthians 1:8-10, it says, “…we were under great pressure, …so that we despaired even of life… but this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead, who delivered us… in whom we trust that He will still deliver us.”

DESERT SEASON-LOVING-KINDNESS

We travel in and out of desert seasons while here in this life. Whether single, married, divorced or widowed, we will experience desert seasons.

A dry, desert season in my life brought me to a place of full dependency on Him. It was a lonely time where all I had was Him. For an entire year I had tremendous difficulty in being single. I was struggling with God’s timing. I couldn’t see why He would want me to wait so long for my husband. He truly wanted to be everything to me, as He knew I had a bad habit of filling His place in my heart with a man. He loves me too much to let me do this to myself again.

One afternoon I searched for His presence… I laid down, lifted my hands up to Him, and praised Him. I then felt the touch of His mercy. He was teaching me-in my waiting, lonely, spiritually worn out season, I didn’t need to experience the sweetness and thrill of the mountaintop constantly. I had to walk by faith and not by sight. He also taught me to realize the “facts” (truth) in my life, as my feelings had a way of lying to me. And the fact is, God is good, and He loves me. I also learned our faith will grow and our walk will mature if, during times of dryness, we determine to hang in there and keep going. During these times, it greatly pleases the heart of God, when you lift your hands, follow hard, and cleave to Him.

Say, “I’m going to stick by You. I don’t care how dry it gets. I don’t care how hot it is. I don’t care how unfruitful it might be or how painful…I’m going to cling to You day by day!”

He will pull you through, holding you all the way! His promise is He will never leave you nor forsake you! (Hebrews 13:5) Let Him love you through the storms. Are you lonely? Do you have an illness? Experienced the loss of a loved one? Gone through a divorce from a difficult marriage? Have you been hurt by a parent? Do you suffer from depression? He knows. He is with you. When you don’t seem to feel Him, He is closest.

I learned suffering is the purest form of “love” as opposed to the feel good stuff we all seem to desire so intensely. But real love, pure love suffered for us. It didn’t run away when things became tough, or didn’t feel good anymore, oh no. He stayed, and suffered to the point of death, to demonstrate how much He loves us… and to teach us how to love. This is the pure stuff. This is real love.

Suffering- 1 Peter 2:21-25, states you join Jesus in suffering. “Christ also suffered for us, leaving an example, that we should follow in His steps.”

I read a story in Jon Courson’s commentary about a father and his three- year old son playing in the snow.

The father said, “Come on, follow in my foot prints if you can.” He couldn’t, his stride was too big.

1 Peter 2:21-25 states, when Jesus was wrongly, cruelly, and terribly treated, He didn’t answer back. I am also to follow in His steps. Yet I know I can’t do this because I want to fight back; I want to let my opinion be known; I want to make sure I’m heard. Here’s the good news; Jesus not only is our example, He is our enabler, He is not only the Lamb. He is the shepherd of our souls.

This three-year old son did indeed follow in his father’s steps. As the father lifted him in the air and back down again, the little child was able to put his feet in each of his father’s footprints. He followed in his footsteps not only because he gave him steps to follow, but because he also enabled him to do so by lifting him up.

This is what our Lord does. He’s the One who hoists me up and allows me, if I’ll let Him, to follow in His steps. He’ll do the same for you. Trust Jesus!

The challenging and toughest seasons in your life are also the most beautiful. They are shaping and molding you into a mature, real, and beautiful person. Allow Him to teach you during these difficult times; as it will produce an abundance of fruit in your life. Not until you travel the difficult road in victory, are you able to experience His beauty in your life. Allow Him to give you the power to step in His footprints.

Before I was saved I went through a painful season without the Lord’s strength. I was going through a heart breaking divorce, and right alongside this…I lost my brother to cancer. Because I was handling it alone without God, it was the darkest and hopeless season of my life. One I don’t even remember.

As a saved woman of God, when I was just four months married, my father died, then four days later I lost my new sister in-law to cancer (the one who introduced me to Frank). We found out she had this horrible cancer on our honeymoon. When we returned, we watched her die. God had a plan. My dad was saved right before he died. Christina had a true experience with Jesus as he was leading her home. It was indeed painful. But I did feel the power of God help me through. I believe He was as close as He ever was to me during this heartbreaking time. I learned to lift my hands to heaven and trust in the One who loves me. He never left. He was holding me. I believe I grew more in this season than any other season.

GRATEFUL

To know when I’m at the feet of Jesus, I have all my needs met by Him and Him alone. To actually live it and tell about it! He completes every part of life. I have no need of anything or finally anyone (a miracle indeed). Single for ten years (with not one date) WOW! A miracle! Yes, I am still… “Date Jesus”…all these years later, and to finally know there is no one that can compare to HIM – I AM FULL! I am so grateful; I must give Him everything I have, all of me. I am His, to do His will. I serve Him because I love Him, and I’m so grateful for what He has done for me and what He continues to do. The very fact I even live or breathe is because of Him.

During my “Date Jesus” season, I just wanted to serve Him out of love. He allowed me to go on mission trips to Ireland, Israel, Romania and Africa! I loved every minute of it! Since I’ve invited Jesus into my heart, I have experienced what it means to really live. He invited me into actually serving Him. What an honor to serve the One I love. To bring glory only to Him and I thank Him. I am completely satisfied. It took the Lord many years to bring me to this place, but He did it. The only thing I did was to let Him. A surrendered life is the only life He can mold and shape to be more like Him. Now, as I surrender, I continue to grow even deeper. There is so much wonder in it all, as you keep learning and growing as you walk with Him. He holds it all. I can’t imagine not having Jesus in my life. He changed everything for me because He changed me, and still continues to do so. I have grown in my walk to a place only to long to be at Jesus’ feet. He is beautiful…so beautiful…

I lived it! Just Him! Only His love! I am convinced that His love is all I need-there is no love in this world that can ever compare…ever! I am forever grateful!

I pray you alone will desire His love, experience His lavish love, His presence in your life, and be satisfied completely! As you give everything to Him, all your dreams, hopes and desires, He will give you life more abundantly beyond anything you can even imagine… a promise. And He keeps His promises.

WAITING FOR THE BRIDEGROOM

And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming, go out to meet him!’ Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut. Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’ But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.”

After spending ten years of only “date Jesus,” a wonderful change was about to happen in my life. He was about to bring me into an earthly romance with a real, living, and breathing man. God in His beautiful, loving way, warned me in advance to prevent me dropping dead in complete shock. He tenderly used scripture to speak to my heart, and inspired me to create a painting. (He deeply blesses me with how He moves in my life…I just love Him for this).

The 10 Virgins~

Our church had a prophecy up date conference with special guest speakers, which included Pastor Chuck Smith. As someone who thoroughly enjoys listening to Chuck Smith’s teaching, I wasn’t about to miss this special conference, so our Friday night Bible study ladies and I all went together. During the teaching, Pastor Chuck Smith referred to the ten virgins in Matthew 25. The five were ready, waiting and watching for their Bridegroom and the other five were not.

That night while I was sleeping I had a dream of a painting. As I woke in the morning, I was overcome with a strong desire to paint what I had seen in my dream, which were the ten virgins! I could hear God speaking, “paint this, pray, wait and watch”. “Ok, Lord, I will.”

Within minutes, I took off to buy a canvas and paints. Next to the art supply store, I walked into one of my favorite shops I loved to visit, and my mouth dropped to the floor. “Oh my goodness! There they were…..the lamps the ten virgins were holding in my dream!” Without hesitating, I purchased ten of them! Why? I had no idea why I was buying them, but I did. It was quite the juggling act putting ten boxes of lamps, a large canvas, and paint all in my car. But I did it! As soon as I arrived home I began painting. I couldn’t help myself; I had to paint! Crazy, when it’s from God, it flows. I knew without a doubt, this was God. As I was painting, God spoke to my heart the word “parallel”. “Parallel?” “What?”

“There is a parallel… of bridegrooms. While you pray Tammy, and wait and watch for your heavenly Bridegroom Jesus, I also want you to pray, wait and watch for your earthly bridegroom. He is coming soon, be prepared.”

I dropped the paintbrush in disbelief, and thought no way! I was utterly astonished and amazed. I must not have heard Him correctly. “Lord, I cried out, “it’s been over ten years without a date, and I’m finally content with just you and me. Are You sure? Am I hearing things? Are you sure? Parallel!?! Bridegroom! What!?!”

I know from experience the Lord leads and guides us with His Word. Psalm 32:8 reads, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.” Psalm 119:133 begins with the words, “Direct my steps with Your word”; this is always my prayer for the day. Psalm 119:105 states, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

I know His Word says His sheep follow him, for they know his voice (John 10:4). God deeply cares about every detail of your life and mine. He goes before you, preparing the way, as Proverbs 3:6 so clearly states, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” I encourage you to keep looking to God for the answers, and He will reveal them to you. I love the words David wrote in Psalm 65:11, “Your paths drip with abundance.” Even more wonderful, is our heavenly Father is sovereign, and graciously guides us to the right path. Solomon wrote: “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). The book of Isaiah also tells us, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it’” (Isaiah 30:21). His Word truly is the lamp to our feet and a light for our path.

Scripture reveals to us The Bridegroom will come at midnight. The Bridegroom is Jesus returning to invite us to our wedding banquet, and our true home. The Lord calls us to be prepared and ready while we wait for His return, as we do not know the day or the hour. This is compared to a bride on her wedding day prepared and ready to receive her groom. To be prepared and ready for His return is to simply love Jesus. Love Him with all your heart, mind and soul; I promise this will keep your lamp burning. Then when Jesus, the true bridegroom comes, you will be one of the five virgins ready to receive Him.

The world is getting darker and darker. Be careful. It pulls you and will take you where you do not belong. Stay alert to all of Satan’s little temptations that would keep you from your closeness with God. The world has a perverted idea about what singles or even married couples should do with their time. It will steal, and rob you-guaranteed! It’s a total waste of time, trust me I know, I wasted 20 years of my life.

The most heartbreaking thing I’ve observed; is beautiful, sweet young women looking, (or better word hunting) for a man to be with, trying to fill the empty void in their lives and in their hearts. I can promise you it will continue to remain void-nothing. Nothing is there. Only Jesus can fill the void.

Also, for those of you who are married, don’t make the tragic mistake of putting your husband on the throne of your heart, where only Jesus belongs. Yes, love your husband, honor and respect him but don’t worship him. You will be setting him up for failure if you do. Your husband is only a man, and a sinner at that. He can never love you like Jesus. He is learning just like the rest of us to become more like Jesus, and to love like He does. But he is not God.

Single ladies trust God to set up your match in His perfect time. He will. The cool thing is when God is setting up your romance; you don’t have to do a thing. It just “happens”. He knows what His plan is for you. You are very important to Him and you matter to Him, so why wouldn’t He want to give you His plan for your life. Nothing can stop Him from blessing you with the one He has for you, except you. Romans 12:12 says, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may approve what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Waiting for God’s choice and His plan is worth it. I am telling you the truth! Wow! It’s right, when it’s from God’s hand. Waiting is the hardest thing to do as a woman, I know, I hear you. But I can tell you from a woman who decided to wait…it’s worth it!!!! But more importantly keep your heart fixed on Jesus…then crazy enough… the rest just works out. It’s so important to be content in only Jesus. And remember God is working on your behalf, even when you think He is not.

While waiting, be in obedience to Him. Serve Him; there is so much you can do for the Lord. This will also keep you from a self-focused life; instead it will be a beautiful one full of love for others. Worship Him with your love for others but know that this can’t be done unless you love Him. This leads to a peaceful, fulfilling, joyful and complete life. There is no greater love then Jesus.

I did start praying, waiting, and watching even though I had a hard time believing it was time for my earthly bridegroom. I wrote prayers in my journal, I wrote poems about “parallel” man. I even changed my password on my computer to “Parallel”. Everything was parallel, parallel. I know I’m a hopeless romantic. Thank God He loves me this way.

And then…it happened…I met Frank two months later (remember this is after ten years of waiting with no dating). My sister knew His brother and wife. They tricked me into attending my niece’s (whom I do anything for) gymnastics practice, which Frank’s niece also participated in. My sister knows me well, and knew not to say anything to me if she was going to get me there. Apparently Frank’s brother drove by his house as he was mowing the lawn and said, “Get in”. “Wait, can’t I take a shower?” “Hurry”!

So… in walked this couple whom I had never met, along with a gentleman walking behind them. The couple was very friendly and talkative. I started making paper airplanes with my nephew when I noticed this gentleman was making them too. OH MY GOSH!!!! I got up…walked outside, paced a bit, then texted my close friend, “Ter…omgosh…I think my sister Bobbie is setting me up! Terry asked excitedly, “Cool-what does he look like?” I said, “Euro, could be Italian.” She responded, “Cool- is he hairy?” “What!?” “I don’t know if he is hairy!!!”

I was so incredibly messed up from being… first-shocked… then nervous because I knew my sister Bobbie would not do this to me if she didn’t know him. I had to go back in, and give it a chance, even though I was jumping out of my skin, and desperately wanting to run for cover. I found …I was pleasantly surprised… by how comfortable he was to be around, he felt… familiar. We all went to lunch together, then coffee, more coffee, then an outdoor concert. None of this was planned by the way…it just happened. I will admit my heart was stirred but I will also admit, I sure didn’t make it easy on the guy, but he thankfully hung in there. As I kept the gentleman and myself in prayer, I didn’t go on a date with him for about 3 months. During the three month time period, I had a little party with my closest friends and family. At the party, I gave out the ten lamps I had purchased, and asked the ten ladies to please pray with me…I may have met “him”.

Finally, Frank and I went to church together. I informed Pastor Ray he was coming, and asked if he could please meet him. He replied, “Ok, but don’t bring him up front, this will freak him out. Go up stairs for coffee, and I will nonchalantly walk by and sit down with you guys”. Ok, perfect plan. We sat in back of the church, my usual spot during service. He tried to sit close to me, but I moved away. He’d move close again, and I’d move away again. What was too close for me was nothing short of an imaginary person between us. He finally gave up sitting close to me, and thought I wasn’t interested in him until …I pulled out a rose I had pressed in my journal from a bouquet he had sent me earlier in the week. As he looked at this pressed rose he said, “Well… maybe there is a “parallel”. “WHAT!? Did he just say…”PARALLEL!?” Of all the words he could have used, he said, “parallel!!!!” No, no this must be a coincidence…wait…I don’t believe in coincidence…hmmmm.

Without any knowledge of the ten virgins painting or the portion of scripture which reads, “Your Bridegroom will come at midnight”, Frank proposed to me on Christmas evening. There were countless stars overhead, along with a full moon illuminating the sand we stood on as we shared this special moment together. The most amazing thing though, is …it “happened” at midnight, exactly to the second! The wonder of the hour, and us not even thinking about it, God was writing our love story.

After Frank’s beautiful proposal we both knelt down and prayed, and offered our relationship to the Lord to do with as He wills. We then had communion together in front of my fireplace, and prayed again. It was then I shared the painting story with Frank. When I came to the portion of scripture which reads, “Your Bridegroom will come at midnight”, we were both awe struck, and realized Frank had proposed at midnight. We both started crying. How would Frank know to propose at midnight? I never told him or anyone for that matter about the painting or scripture. It wasn’t even his plan to propose at the midnight hour. But God knew. God also knew I needed this confirmed with His Word. He did just this. I had to be sure it was God. Frank bought a wedding gown, invited the ten virgins, my friends that just “happened” to have a lamp, and this romantic man threw me a surprise wedding! Oh and guess what time the wedding was? We were married at midnight. He wanted to honor Jesus our heavenly Bridegroom. Parallel= Jesus and my new found beloved Frank. I love how the Lord relates the bride and groom relationship to Jesus the Bridegroom, and us His bride. I adore and love my relational God. So hopefully you will continue with me to: PRAY, WAIT AND WATCH for our Heavenly Bridegroom Jesus………

PRAY- it’s a way of loving God- your heart opens to Him and His will for you.

WAIT- Waiting purifies you, teaches you to trust in the One- Jesus- who loves you the most. Then “wait” for Him to come get you and take you to the wedding we have all been waiting for!

WATCH- Watch for Him, be ready as a living sacrifice for His return. This means living a life pleasing to Him not a worldly life pleasing your fleshly desires.

Parallel- watch Him move as He puts together His earthly plan for your life. You can’t match what He has planned for you.

You will feel like you are living for the first time in your life when you fully surrender all to Him. Pray, wait and watch…a heavenly banquet awaits us!!!