Forgiveness Brought Healing

This is dedicated to my mother

It was 1956, in Anchorage, Alaska when my mother at the age of twenty-eight, received the Lord as her personal Savior in the hallway of her apartment. At the time, my sister Wendy was seven and Gary, my brain damaged brother was six, and I was yet to be born. As my mother told her story, she had just arrived home upon hearing devastating news my father had another woman. He had moved out of the apartment to move in with her, leaving my mother and the children behind. My mother had experienced this before with my father, and traveled to this unfamiliar land of Alaska to be by his side hoping with all her heart to keep it all together.

As she stood in the hallway of the Martin Arm Apartment, overwhelmed by her broken heart, a bright, warm light poured in and flooded the hallway with Love. She knew somehow this was Jesus, and poured her heart out to Him. My mother gave Him her life, and He came into her heart to dwell into eternity. She then stepped into the shower, and allowed the water to flow over her, and wash all her sins away, as she desired to be clean from sin. This day her whole world changed.

My mother soon discovered a church which taught about Jesus Christ, whom she had just met in the midst of a broken heart. As my mother began to read the bible, she only longed to read and learn all the more about Jesus. Every spare moment of the day, she was reading God’s word. She was experiencing love in a grand magnitude by which she never thought existed. She was overflowing with Love and was no longer concerned with my father’s behavior. My mother actually told him that she didn’t need him any longer…she had Jesus. And if he was choosing this other woman, she would be ok, because she knew God would take care of her. This of course floored my father and caused him think about his life.

As time went by he did indeed see a change in my mother and decided to go to church with her. He walked forward to accept Christ that day, and desired to come back to the family. My mother’s arms were always open to him because she had learned through Jesus the true meaning of forgiveness. Three years later I was born.

When I was two, we all moved to California, but my father stayed in Alaska. He was an engineer, and had his hands on many different designs all around the world. This was the reason we were in Alaska; he helped design the dual line-pine line. We settled in California, and from then on, I don’t remember him ever living with us again; he just came home from time to time. He would come for a visit that may have lasted a week or perhaps a month, then he would be off again. I know he walked forward to receive Jesus in Alaska but there was no transformation in his life and heart. My father was stubborn and rebellious as he continued in his sinful selfish lifestyle. He was unwilling to surrender his life to Jesus, but this was not the case with my mother. She surrendered all right, and Jesus showed her His love and she received it with an open heart. On one of my father’s visits my beautiful little sister Bobbie was conceived. My father moved back to the states, as he had received a new position in Washington. My mother then sold the house, packed us up, and travelled to Washington with a brand new baby. It didn’t take long for my mother to discover my father had a new relationship there with another woman. A year later and we were back in California. My father left for Vietnam. Still married with a broken heart, I watched my mother pray. Years passed by as I watched her pray. More praying. She had bouts with pain and struggled to forgive him. Angry and upset, she tried to lay it down at the feet of Jesus. Then finally one day, she was able to let everything go. She forgave and continued to pray. I watched…I know.

In 1976 my father moved back to the states, and made his home in Colorado. My mother once again packed us up and headed to Colorado to see him. But this time it was different; he chose to conceal where he was living. Soon after we arrived, my mother found his office, and with all of us kids in tow, walked right in and received a most unwelcomed reception. She then discovered he had filed for divorce. Not only that, while he was in Vietnam he had a whole other family, which included two children my mother was unaware of. Their marriage ended in 1977, and my father married the mother of the two children. What followed was an extremely heartbreaking year for a very loving, special and longsuffering woman. I have shared this about my parents because I think it’s important to witness the magnitude of strength in the Lord it would take to forgive someone who would sin against God to this degree. Forgiveness didn’t happen overnight, it took hours of prayer and time with the Lord to learn His ways of forgiveness. I watched my mother, and learned true forgiveness unbeknownst to me at the time or my mother for that matter. Eight years later my father’s wife left him for another man. He was alone. There was no communication between my mother and father at this time. Jumping ahead to 1990, my brother Gary was dying from cancer. My mother opened her home to my father to spend time with Gary for a week or longer if he chose. He left two weeks before Gary passed away. He was not one to cry, but when the call came, he sobbed. Things between my mother and father began to soften. I believe it’s because my mother opened the door to him, and he knew he was welcome back into the family at anytime.

As time passed, my father made trips out to California to see us girls, and then he would turn around, and drive all the way back to Florida. He always felt my mother’s love for him and I think he regretted his choices. I know her forgiveness toward him made him wonder about God. I know he felt he was unforgiveable and God was mad at him. Satan was lying to him and he was listening, unfortunately for years to come.

Around 2004, I received a call…. my father was in the emergency room. He had a stroke, and I jumped on the next plane to Florida. He took one look at me, and broke down in tears. While I sat with him in the hospital, I noticed he had a picture in his shirt pocket. I pointed to it and asked, “Dad, what is this?” He proceeded to pull it out to show me…it was a picture of my mother. I almost fell to the floor. After I gained composer, I asked, “Dad, what was the happiest time in your life?” He answered, “When I was dating your mom”. While I was in the room he received a phone call…it was my mother. His face lit up as he listened to her. She was telling him she was praying for him and Jesus loved him…and…oh…by the way…. I love you too Bob. I saw a tear trickle down his cheek.

The doctors told him he could never drive again and his driver’s license would be revoked. This did not sit well with my dad, as prideful as he was. This was like telling him you’re old and close to death. What he did next blew us all away…. As soon as he was released from the hospital, he hopped in his car and drove straight to California…straight to my mother’s door! She opened the door and found him standing there looking into her eyes and asked, “Muriel…will you please forgive me?” Without any time in-between, she answered, “Yes Bob, I will forgive you.” She then proceeded to invite him in, and they spent hours and hours talking and reminiscing about their younger years. She made him dinner and they continued reminiscing while they ate. She said… that moment was the moment she had prayed for…for over twenty-seven years. A twenty-seven year prayer was answered. There was healing between them and a deep friendship happened thereafter.

They spoke on the phone every week if not more. He always sent her a dozen red roses on her birthday and Valentine’s Day, and a big box of chocolates at Christmas. They had many conversations about him moving back to California to be near the girls, or better yet, near her. Let’s be neighbors they would say to each other. Then he would say…or…I could just move in with you. I had to admit…I never thought in a million years they would ever be close like this. It was my miracle. But it was more… my mother’s miracle. My father was my mother’s “one and only” and if truth be known, I think they both knew they loved one another their entire lives.

In 2008 my father took a turn for the worse. He was placed in a facility that could care for him as he could no longer care for himself. He stopped eating. It was July; I flew out to Florida, and took my mother with me. It was the most difficult trip I had ever experienced. Bad weather kept us stranded in an airport for hours upon hours. Finally the airline allowed one plane to take off. Aware we were anxious to see my father, they placed my mother and me in first class. When we arrived, we were escorted to my dad. I saw his face light up when he saw my mother. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She went directly to him and embraced him with a loving hug. He smiled and joy seemed to fill his room. She shared the love of Jesus with him as she held his hand, and I fed him chocolate. It was the only thing he would eat (he passed that fetish on to me by the way). The second day was difficult; he longed to go home with us. At one point he got up out of his bed, went to the closet and grabbed his suitcase, opened it and started to pack. He said, “I’m going with you”. Our hearts broke, we knew he couldn’t travel; he was close to the end. My mother and I asked the doctor if it was possible to drive him back to California. The doctor explained due to his condition, there was a strong possibility he wouldn’t make it to our destination. As hard as it was, we settled it in our minds we couldn’t bring him home. On our last day together we shared Jesus with him again. I spoke to him alone first then my mother came in soon after me. We had to say our goodbyes. How does one do this I remember asking myself. I remember sitting in his bed with him, “Dad, I love you.” He replied, “I love you too De Tammy.” With tears in my eyes I asked him, “Dad… are you right with God?” He answered, “Yes… I asked for forgiveness and I know He has forgiven me”. I continued, “So…Dad, Jesus is in your heart?” “Yes”.

My God! Lord You did the work! It may have come at the end of his life here on earth, but he finally accepted You! You did it God! My mother went in and prayed with him and she too needed to be sure he knew Jesus. They held hands the whole time. They hugged and she tenderly kissed his face. She told him she will always love him. His eyes were fixed on her as she left the room.

August 4, 2008 my father, Bobby Jean Wyatt was welcomed into heaven by Jesus. We discovered he wanted to be buried next to my brother Gary, and the plot next to Gary belonged to my mother. There was healing … with forgiveness. I know…I watched.

Verses: “Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Colossians 3:13

“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:2